The song in his head
by AniZH
Summary: Andre's pretending about Beck and Jade's relationship a lot. They all are. That doesn't mean that he doesn't understand their relationship.


Welcome to this one shot that came to be through three different ideas I had. I started writing a few lines each for those different ideas and then luckily got the idea to put it all together and make one story out of it and I'm very happy with what it got to be.  
Trigger warning because there's a car accident. But noone's dying.  
This shot takes places during Beck and Jade's big seperation und has them get to together the same way as in canon.  
Let me know what you think! :)

* * *

They're at Tori's, playing poker. Well, they want to, with their whole group of friends, but Beck is nowhere to be seen.

He isn't usually late. He has been sometimes when he has still been together with Jade. More often than not, Andre has seen his car already in the driveway of whoever's home they have met up then, the couple sitting in it, making out.

Jade drove herself today. She and Beck are broken up for three months now.

Andre tries to call Beck a few times because it worries him that he isn't here yet. Everyone else is worried too. Even Jade, though she doesn't say anything. But she also doesn't make a biting comment that maybe, Beck is with some girl, which she sometimes suggests when Beck can't come for one reason or another when they meet up.

It's the fifth time Andre calls Beck's phone, when they decided that they should already start playing and assuring each other that everything will be okay.

The phone gets picked up this time but it isn't Beck's voice: "Andre? This is Nathaniel Oliver."

Beck's father. On Beck's phone. Sounding distraught.

"Oh, hi," Andre says unsure. "Where's Beck?"

His friends immediately look up from their poker chips. Obviously, they wonder who he's talking to after calling Beck.

Mr. Oliver's words pull a rug out from under Andre. "He has been in an accident."

A thundering noise in Andre's head and then silence.

Mr. Oliver tells him that the doctors already operated on Beck, that he's okay as of now, that he is in the hospital and that they can come visit if they feel like it but that Beck is sleeping for now.

Andre knows that they have to get there as quickly as possible. But he doesn't remember how to move. They operated on Beck? He's okay 'as of now'? But the worst was Mr. Oliver's voice. That told him that nothing was okay, that Beck was seriously injured.

His friends ask him what's going on. He doesn't know for how long they have been asking after he hung up the phone.

"Beck has been in an accident," he slowly says though the words barely come out of his mouth. Because they can't be true.

His friends all react shocked. Of course they do.

But all he sees is Jade. Jade, whose face drains of all color. Jade, who immediately crosses her arms in front of her, holding herself.

He hurries to continue, for her sake. Because he knows it doesn't matter that she and Beck aren't officially a couple anymore. It never did.

"His father says he's okay. We can go visit."

They all play pretend about the relationship of Beck and Jade. Well, maybe everyone except Tori. Andre isn't sure if she understands it by now, if she can see behind the act the two of them like to put on.

Everyone of them pretends as if Beck and Jade just randomly are a thing. As if they don't know or understand how they can be together. As if they don't know that they mean the world to each other and more, that they complete each other.

Andre isn't sure why they are doing it. Probably because Beck and Jade do too. They like to act like they don't care. Maybe because both of them are such independent people and feel weird about the fact that they are still so dependent on each other.

Their friends know better. Andre knows better.

It doesn't matter that Beck tried to kiss Tori, as Andre found out through Cat who got told so by Jade who apparently witnessed by accident. It doesn't matter that Jade made out with Moose.

They are only seventeen after all. They are still so young and so inexperienced. And officially they are broken up and therefore allowed to try things out. Though Andre honestly believes that behind closed doors the two of them also still make out with each other. Despite their seperation.

.

.

Life is like music for Andre.

Songs constantly play in his head and make his life worthwhile. People and relationships are like songs for him too.

The relationship of Beck and Jade is a crazy song he has gotten so used to hearing.

At first, he didn't understand it. But he also barely understood anything about music before he got into Hollywood Arts, despite playing several instruments, if he has to be honest with himself. He didn't understand how imperfections make a song perfect.

Their song is vibrant and full of color and often way too loud, so that everyone learned to tune it out over time. It's loud in the way they fight but also in the way that they show affection, making out in the middle of school hallways and alike. It always seems like all or nothing with the two of them. With the break-up being the supposed nothing that's left between them.

But Andre has learned to listen closer, the more he learned about music.

He has learned to listen closer to every song in his life and enjoy it even more.

.

.

At the moment, there's nothing to enjoy. Suddenly, with the words about the accident out of Beck's father's mouth, there came a general rest inside his head. A deafening silence. A rest that could get interrupted by the happiest tune as well as one of sorrow and pain. And what if it is the latter?

He can't think of anything else on the way to the hospital. Robbie is driving, keeping the coolest head.

When they ask for Beck in the hospital, the nurse tells them that his parents already informed them their friends would come and would be allowed through. They have to remember that Beck is weak right now though and needs his sleep and it should only be a quick stop. They all agree. They're just happy they get to see Beck. Andre still is shook by the tone of Mr. Oliver's voice and he knows that his friends must have known by his face during and after the call how potentially serious the situation is.

.

.

In the room they find both of Beck's parents and Beck. Beck is fast asleep and his mother is sitting next to him, watching him closely as if he could suddenly vanish, while his father stands by the window, also watching his son but in a way as if he couldn't believe their luck.

They both look up as the group walks in and hushed greetings are exchanged.

Mr. Oliver explains how Beck was in the house for a bit before he got on his way to meet up with his friends. He wasn't out the door for long when they suddenly heard a loud crash. Some people drove up and down the road in front of their house like maniacs and somehow, Beck pulled the car out of the driveway when they passed by and one of them and Beck hit each other.

Mrs. Oliver says that she can't believe Beck's still alive, after she saw the car, running outside after hearing the crash and some screams.

They say they are glad that the friends are there, even if only for a little bit. They know how much Beck loves them. They'll make sure to tell him they were there if he still wakes back up while they are there.

They are so full of worry and at the same time relieved about Beck being fine after all that they don't even react to Jade approaching Beck while they are talking.

Andre knows that Beck's parents have some issues with Jade. He doesn't know if they know about their seperation. Maybe, they would've sent her out then. Normally, Andre would've at least expected a look.

But they don't look, while they talk about what happened and while the group reacts in relief themselves, all of them somehow laughing in between but just because they were really worried on the ride over and the way Beck's parents talk about the accident, it's practically a miracle that he's so well – how can they not laugh out of pure relief?

But while Beck's parents barely seem to notice and don't care, Andre sees how Jade approaches Beck, her face still white, and how she slowly puts one of her shaking hands down on his chest.

Andre knows that she's feeling his heart as she's closing her eyes.

In Andre's head, a quiet and pure note into the silence. A harmony in the disharmonies caused by the accident. Drums, steadying the beat.

.

.

Of course, Andre drives to the hospital the next morning to see his best friend. He wants to make sure, he's really okay, talk to him.

In front of the room Beck should be in, he finds Jade, leaning against the wall, sipping a coffee, she must have bought in the hospital cafeteria.

"Hi," Andre greets her, not at all surprised by her being here.

She startles a bit, has been deep in thought as it seems, but is quick to recover. "Yeah, hey."

"Is Beck...?" Andre starts a question, pointing at the door. He doesn't know how he wants to finish the question yet. Maybe he wants to ask if he's okay or if Beck is somewhere else, because there has to be a reason for Jade to be in front of the room instead of inside.

There is. Jade answers before he needs to finish the question. "Examined, yeah. I was about to got in, but his father managed to catch me before I did and told me to stay outside at least until the doctor is finished. He and his wife are inside with them now."

Andre states in surprise: "And you're actually out here." Beck's father told her to stay outside and she did. She never does as she's told.

Jade rolls her eyes. "Well, Beck wouldn't need to fight with his parents right now."

Andre needs a moment before he gets it. Yes, his parents obviously doesn't want her around while the doctor is examining him, for whatever reason. They would throw Jade out as soon as she would step inside. Which Beck wouldn't appreciate at all. He would want her to stay and would fight his parents, no matter his state.

Jade isn't being considerate of Beck's parents. She's considerate of Beck, one of the very, very few people she would ever be considerate of.

Andre doesn't say anything more to it and just leans against the wall next to Jade, waiting with her.

.

.

The doctor leaves only shortly after and they step into the room.

Beck's parents greet both of them, though both not looking at Jade as if they're glad she's here – unlike at Andre.

Beck meanwhile has only eyes for one person as soon as they stepped in.

"Jade," he says in a breath and she swiftly walks all the way up to him, him sitting in the hospital bed, and they hug. They hug as if both their lives depended on it.

The song in Andre's head sends warmth through his body and gets a close grip around his heart. In the way that beautiful and personal songs do. Those songs that make you long to feel that same love the music and singer describe.

.

.

Beck and Jade hold each other for a long time and only after that Beck seems to notice Andre too and tells him he's glad that he came. He and Jade don't exchange any words. They don't need to.

Robbie comes in shortly after and he has barely settled into the room when Cat and Tori come as well.

Beck tells all of them that he doesn't even remember leaving his parent's house, not to mention the accident. He says that he heard that that's normal. Your brain makes sure to forget something like that. Still, he says, he does remember a sickening sort of empty feeling, somehow. That must stem from the accident, right?

He shrugs, as if it doesn't bother him too much. But Andre notices how he grips the hand in his own a little tighter. Jade's hand.

Well, Andre isn't sure for how long they have held hands. Jade sat down by his side, but Andre hasn't seen when their hands found each other.

It's just so natural and normal that noone notices, all their casual touches, all the time. Like the bass in so many songs. It's just there and you never bother too much about it. You only notice that it's a vital part of the song when it's not there. Like you notice that Beck and Jade aren't casually touching anymore when they suddenly stop, instead of noticing their touches they share despite their break-up.

But the quiet sounds in their relationship always were like this. Andre noticed at one point how Beck plays with Jade's fingers as if he's softly hitting the keys of a piano to a song he knows by heart since birth. Jade's smile at him is like the motif of a song, hidden in parts of the song where noone bothers to look but you always feel comforted hearing that part because it's oddly familiar. Their bickering is like a teasing tune you can dance the waltz to. They dance it while bickering, easily, never actually stepping on each other's toes.

.

.

Beck stays in the hospital for another day and Andre is sure that Jade keeps at his side while he and the others only shortly visit and then leave him time to rest.

He's home afterwards for a couple of days but after the next weekend, he's back at school. And he and Jade are back at each other's throats. Not for a teasing song but a vicious one with daggers for lyrics, aimed to kill. It even seems to Andre that they continue a fight they had in school the day of the accident. Well, that's like them. It's like them to pretend that they weren't close those days in between, that they didn't need each other after the accident. Their friends pretend again as well.

It's after a few more days business as usual that Meredith more or less asks Beck on a date and Tori gets this crazy idea about Jade having to have a date too for Beck to be able to go on one. Andre really doesn't know if she pretends. He does. He goes along with it because that's what they do when it's about Beck and Jade.

But Jade catches them in the act of trying to get her a date and of course gets angry. And then tells Beck that he can date whomever and that she doesn't care. She has to know herself that she's lying, right?

Beck's in a bad mood afterwards – not that he has been in many good moods since he and Jade broke up.

Well, and what's with him? Why does he keep pretending, even after the accident? Why does Beck has to be so stubborn? And Jade too? And why does Andre let himself pull into these games?

.

.

Andre and Beck have been at the movies together and now still grab a drink afterwards.

After they talked about the movie, there's silence for a moment and Beck checks his phone and Andre notices how his look lingers on it, before he puts it back away. Well, he's looking at the phone's background without a doubt. Which is still a photo of Beck and Jade together. Because those two pretend so much but don't actually know what it means to be broken up.

And Andre has to ask: "Why don't you get back together already?"

Beck doesn't even seem surprised that the talk suddenly turned to him and Jade. "We're not getting back together," he says.

Most of the times, Andre would have already let it slide. He would have pretended along with Beck. But he's over it. "Why not? It's obvious that you're still in love with each other."

"We're not," Beck claims, but not all defensive in that way that proves that he also thinks so. But with a finality in his voice that surprises Andre.

"Yeah, right," he makes. "Then why don't you go on that date with Meredith and don't give me some shit about being scared of Jade's jealousy. As if you would ever be scared of Jade."

While everyone else is in fact scared of Jade, at least every now and then, Beck never has been. Andre still remembers the surprise in Beck's face when he told him a while ago that he was scared of Jade. As if it was a wild thought that Andre was scared of her. Because he never felt close to that.

Beck can't claim he's scared now. Andre won't let him keep pretending that.

Beck looks at him for a moment before lowering his gaze to his drink. "I'm scared that she won't be jealous."

Andre's sure he must have misheard. "What?"

Beck seems to brace himself, not looking up again, before he says, sounding careless in that way that shows that he cares too much: "She won't be jealous anymore. She's over me."

"You have to be kidding me," Andre says. "She isn't over you, dude."

Is Beck still pretending? It doesn't look or sound that way. But how can he be serious about this?

Beck finally looks up again. "What do you know?"

Apparently a whole lot more than Beck. "I know how she looked when I told her you were in the hospital. I've seen her hold on to you." Hold on to him while she hugged him, while they held hands...

All that pretty much just happened. That accident just happened. And they held on to each other, because they needed each other. Because they are obviously still in love with each other.

"That's different," Beck claims dismissively. "You don't understand."

"What don't I understand?" Andre questions.

Beck answers as if it was obvious: "You don't understand what Jade and I have."

And that's not love with the way they behaved in the hospital? What else could it be?

Andre shakes his head. "You know what? Sometimes I think I understand it better than you and Jade do." Because while they are both great at acting and writing and maybe other arts, he is the one understanding music the best. He understands their song.

But because he understands, he also knows that nobody but them will be able to fix this, so... "You have to decide: Either go on that date with Meredith and, if you really believe Jade's over you, you can finally start to get over her too. Or, you know, get your shit together, go to Jade and talk to her."

.

.

Andre doesn't know how and why but somehow Beck decides for the first option. Jade luckily knows better this time. When she's up the stage and performs that song for Beck, Andre isn't surprised how easily that song fits into the one in his head that's their relationship. He isn't surpries that with it, everything falls into place again. Beck and Jade's relationship but also the song in Andre's head, the song about their relationship and the song about their whole group of friends that's finally having all the right harmonies and disharmonies again.


End file.
